is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just invented taco cereal.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
