Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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