So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize