I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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