You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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