i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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