If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
