Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
