it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
