Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize