Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
