That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
