Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
