btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
