He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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