love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
