apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just want to make out with him forever
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
