I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
