The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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