I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Randomize
