Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
should my penis look like a turkey
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
