And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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