I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
