grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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