I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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