so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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