If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
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