Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
