I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
