I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize