he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
