Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
