well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
