I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
