I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
