i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
