How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
