Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
