Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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