My friends, they love my intelligence
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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