I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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