Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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