You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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