Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
it was like having sex with a tree stump
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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