Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
