I want to stick my p in your. b.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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