i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
