Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
