I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
