Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
