I want to walk on stilts...naked
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
