I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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