Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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