so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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