bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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