I look better un-naked...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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