I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
