She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
