Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize